Beer or Wine

17 08 2008

His Opinion51tzejuCbTL__SS500_1

Beer… beer… BEER… Doesn’t even the sound of that word make you swallow thirstily? On the other hand, “wine”… just associates with “wino” and “vine” – and that’s it.

One is mellow golden brown and bubbly, the other looks like a wino took a leak… smells and tastes that way, too. Is there even a competition? (In case of red wine, make it a wino with a kidney problem).

To be honest, I am not totally against wines. There are some wines that I like, mostly semi-sweet muscat wines – you know, the ones that sommeliers hate. Because they are not real wines – made from sour grapes that have been crushed with bare feet, then kept in a barrel until it has gone stale – no, they are wines that actually taste good, not like someone crushed chalk into vinegar and bottled the result. Oh, and I do think that a big portion of a taste of the wine comes from toe fungus…

And yet, even two or three glasses of it give me a slight heartburn.

That is not the case with beer. No heartburn there, no matter if I have one bottle or six.

Of course, you have to choose your beers. Most major US beers are still the same as in that Monty Python joke: 

– Why is American beer like making love in a boat?

– Because it is fucking close to water!

There are some good US beers… or so I’ve heard. Corona from Mexico is worth checking out, Heineken and other German and North-European beers are usually at least drinkable.

For the BEER!

Her Opinion

Wine – the fermented juice of grapes, made in many varieties, such as red, white, sweet, dry, still, and sparkling, for use as a something that invigorates, cheers, or intoxicates; happy happy drink; classy; freaking yummyness.

Beer – Unpalatable fermented grainy liquid that does not taste very good, does not invigorate, cheer – just makes me have to pee incessantly; tastes like unbaked bread with too much yeast.

In case you wondered who was the “Beer” and who was the “Wine”, I’m Wine. He’s Beer.  And you’ll soon see why ;)

I will admit to drinking beer on occasion – when there isn’t any wine around, (and then only under duress), but when the choice is to be had, I’ll take wine anytime.

I  prefer the light, semi-sweet taste of a half-dry Riesling – full of delicate fruity flavors.  Or a robust Shiraz – amazingly delicious.  A bottle of wine has a history to it.  Every season produces a slightly different wine.  The weather, moisture, the barrels, the wine producer, the cork, the bottle type – all of these must be perfect in order to create a bottle of wine.  Wine making is part art, part talent, part luck, and all about passion. 

Learning about wine, and all that goes with it is something people grow into.  They become interested in wine, learn how to drink it, why you have to let a red wine breath, and why you should not over-chill a Pinot Grigio.  It’s a grown up thing to do.  Unlike beer, which is basically the first thing you get drunk on when you are 15. 

Like I said above, it tastes like unbaked bread that has gone bad.  Plus, I’m in the U.S. – we have crappy beer.  Have you ever actually tasted Budweiser?  Or <gag> Coors?  There isn’t much out there that can taste worse than Budweiser – even those overly priced energy drinks are better.  The cheapest wine has better flavor.

Typical Beer Drinker:

I’ll stick to wine, thank you very much. 

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2 responses

8 09 2008
Dan

See, if you lived in New Zealand, you’d have the best of both worlds – We have fabulous wine and excellent beer. Although I have to admit when we were in Seattle a few years ago, I really enjoyed a beer there called Mack & Jacks, or something like that. But it was a boutique beer. It seems that you just can’t mass produce beer. I guess all the flavour sinks to the bottom of the vat…

8 09 2008
lawdy

I don’t know about beer in NZ, but I’ve had some wines from there, and from Oz — and I’ve always loved them.

I’ve only ever tried a ’boutique’ beer once — and it was sweet.. almost honey-like. I always think it would be fun to try some of the local beers, but I’m not really sure, exactly, where one goes about finding them.

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